This month I was interviewed by Amy McGeachy, HR Consultant and Executive Coach with McGeachy Consulting about the good, the bad and the ugly of workplace conflict.
Read part I below:
Amy: Is conflict really as bad as we think or does it simply get a bad reputation?
Berry: Conflict in itself is not bad; we just think it is. The first thing we think of when we hear the word conflict is the energy draining, escalating interaction between two people who don’t get what they want. We often see conflict as a dead end street where nothing good and positive can come from. We associate it with frustration, yelling in anger and hopelessness. For most of us conflict is still about who is right and who is wrong.
Well, that is not what conflict is about. Conflict is nothing more than two parties having a difference in perspectives, goals or needs. Resolving conflict is simply the process of exploring these differences with each other and coming up with solutions to have conflicting needs met or goals reached so it works for both parties. We tend to look at what separates us in conflict. However, we always have something in common and looking for what that is, makes conflict resolution such a meaningful, constructive and healing process. It usually comes down to meeting basic human needs we all have: the need for acknowledgment, appreciation and understanding.
Amy: What good can come out of a conflict at work?
Berry: Conflict is normal within teams; teams need conflict to thrive and be effective. If everyone would have the same goal, the same perspectives and the same solutions, there would be no innovation and creativity in teams and organizations. Conflict between co-workers, if handled skillfully, can create more understanding, a more dynamic work relationship, or heal a damaged working relationship. Conflict is a normal and healthy part of our personal and professional life and it’s time that we embrace it.
Amy: What steps can business professionals take when they encounter a conflict in the workplace?
Berry: Conflict is a dynamic process with a beginning, middle and end. If we deal with conflict constructively early on, it might not even develop into a bigger issue. There are things we can do in the beginning, as soon as we feel a “pinch” with another person, something that doesn’t feel quite right. Find a good time to talk with the other person, when you are both calm and have some time. Be the first to reach out by acknowledging the importance of the relationship and that you want to work things out. Ask questions and listen for understanding the other person’s perspective on what is going on. Be very curious about how the other perceives the issue. Check your assumptions and find common needs such as the need for clear communication, appreciation or respect. Express your perspectives and needs. Ask for help from a third neutral person such as a manager or an external coach to facilitate your dialogue if the issue doesn’t get resolved.
To be continued…