Earlier this year I was interviewed on the topic of Workplace Conflict by a highly respected colleague in the HR field, Amy McGeachy, HR Consultant and Executive Coach with McGeachy Consulting.
Amy: “How can leaders help resolve a situation when two people on their team are in conflict?”
Berry: “A leader, who is emotionally intelligent and skillful in conflict resolution, could take on the role of the third neutral person who helps two people talk with each other about their issues. I call this process the “Kitchen Table Approach to Conflict Resolution.” After having set some ground rules for communication and interaction, each person shares their perspective about what happened with the leader. He or she can then identify the most important issues that both people want to address and give the parties the opportunity to explore each issue together. It is important that the leader stays neutral by not engaging in the conflict or choosing sides, enforces the ground rules, and helps parties talk.”
Amy: “Is conflict a part of business or do some people eternally attract it while others seemingly bypass conflict?”
Berry: “Conflict is an inevitable part of life and business. We can choose, however, if we engage in a fight or not. We all know people who always seem to attract conflict. We call them “difficult people” and we encounter them everywhere. I don’t believe that there are difficult people. These are just people whose needs are not met. The strategies that they have chosen to meet those needs are conflicting with the strategies that we have chosen to meet our needs. It takes a skillful, emotionally intelligent person, to help these employees find out what it is that they need, and then help them find another, a more constructive strategy to meet that need. The person, who seemingly bypasses conflict knows, how to do this instinctively, knows himself or herself well, has learned conflict communication skills, is naturally curious and has developed sensitivity to other people’s needs.”