Calling all introverts to conflict resolution! Here is your guide, Innie, inspired by what your extrovert counterparts do effectively when they fight, quarrel, clash, and battle.
1.Make Yourself Known
Extroverts process out loud; we know how they think, feel and process the experience of conflict. Introverts process internally and that brings up a lot of guesswork for the other. Innie, at least share with the Outie in your life that you are processing or need time to process in a quiet space, otherwise your silence could look like stonewalling.
2. Open the Door
Literally, Innies, open the door to your office once in a while. Extroverts often have an open door policy that invites and encourages conversation.
3. Think a little less.
Innies have the tendency to (over) think responses, assumptions, and motivations. Think less and save yourself some time and energy. Thinking less also prevents making up stories in your head about the things you experience. The less stories, the more real the interactions.
4. Show up Authentically
Often our response is more authentic when we have not spent a lot of time thinking it over. In interpersonal conflict it is often better to speak from the heart instead of the head, to get the unfiltered un-judgmental truth. Tune into your inner wisdom and speak up from that honest vulnerable place inside of you, Innie, that so few get to see. As Brenee Brown says: “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
5. Practice Small Talk
Introverts don’t like small talk; sometimes it seems that is the only thing that Outies do. What they win with it, though, is goodwill and a quick rapport. If introverts would engage in some small talk before the difficult conversation, things may just seem to go smoother.
6. Quiet your Gremlins
We al have our internal voice(s) going on and for Introverts, these can get very loud. They get so loud that we can’t really hear the extrovert. Skillful listening is about being fully present with the other. Dial down
7. Take Your Time
Extroverts are effective in turning experiences into stories. Innies often worry about taking up too much time. Stories and the use of metaphors may have valuable things to add to the conversation.
And if all else fails, Innie, remember the jewel that you are within.