Last week you might have explored what your main reason is for giving in when there is the chance of an argument unfolding. What is your gain or loss when you give in?
Giving in is not necessarily a bad thing to do. I can think of many situations when it is more desirable to accommodate the other person. I’m addressing here the event of giving in that is harmful for us.
Fear of Confrontation: We may accommodate the other person out of a desire to please them and be kind, a belief that we don’t deserve to be treated better, the fear of losing a loved one or with an intention not to hurt anyone’s feelings. The chance is big that we are missing out on an opportunity to show who we really are and create a closer and more dynamic relationship with the other person. All these reasons are bundled into one neat package: The Fear of Confrontation.
Although it is the most common response to any differences that arise between people, giving in or accommodating is the least noticed. We just don’t see it happen when someone is doing it, because of the discrepancy between what is said and thought. That is often where the trouble begins between two people with differences. That is what makes a conversation a difficult one.
Next week we’ll explore the high price we are paying by giving in.