When Giving In = Giving Up, Part III

We’re paying a high price for giving in. By giving in, we are giving up what we want out of the relationship and out of life. We are not meeting our own needs when we are giving in, which often leads to resentment and bitterness towards the other. Resentment, if...

When Giving In = Giving Up, Part II

Last week you might have explored what your main reason is for giving in when there is the chance of an argument unfolding. What is your gain or loss when you give in? Giving in is not necessarily a bad thing to do. I can think of many situations when it is...

When Giving In = Giving Up, Part I

Have you ever had someone cancel a meeting with you several times? The other day a colleague re-scheduled a meeting with me for the third time in a row on very short notice and I said, “Oh that’s okay! I understand that things can happen.” I wanted...

Do You Defend or Do You Prosper?

In her book, Taking the War Out of Our Words: The Art of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, Sharon Ellison estimates that we use 95% of our communications energy being defensive. As soon as we feel any threat, either of not getting what we want or of being put down...