On Sunday, September 21st people all over the world celebrate the 30th anniversary of International Peace Day. Now, more than ever, this day has meaning to all of us, the entire human race, so I wanted to share some thoughts about this day.
To me, it sometimes feels overwhelming to talk about establishing world peace. I mean, where do we be begin with all the global wars that are raging right now?
My philosophy of conflict resolution is that it starts at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. In my point of view any conflict, regardless of its complexity, can be dealt with at a kitchen table where a few people come together to patiently share, explore, be curious, ask questions and listen, listen, listen. We need courage and a simple process to interact in such a way.
Effective conflict resolution is about exploring each other differences in values, point of views, goals and other areas where we differ. In its most simple form it is only that: exploring, listening and understanding. When it comes down to it, we all have the same basic human needs such as appreciation, acknowledgment and acceptance.
I really do think that if we can bring world leaders together with individual fighters, rebels, and terrorists to skillfully conduct such kitchen table dialogues, world peace would be within reach and the world would end up being a better place.
That brings up the question what we can do at an individual level on The International Day of Peace, to promote peace in the workplace, our homes, neighborhoods and ultimately in the world.
Is it time for you to bring up the courage to have a “Kitchen Table Dialogue” where you put all your concerns, your differences out on the kitchen table and look at them together with your dialogue partner? Where are we different, where are we wanting the same, how can we look beyond our needs to the greater good? Listen to ourselves; where are we holding on to judgments and old beliefs? Share what assumptions you are making about the situation or about the other and check if these assumptions are true for the other.
A Kitchen Table Dialogue is built upon the belief that people are more alike than different, and that dialogue can create deeper empathy, break down barriers and build relationships. Ultimately, these relationships can help us create positive changes in the world.
A couple of simple processes and tools come to mind that assist in having focused, effective Kitchen Table Dialogues such as the mediation process (I like to call this process a “Facilitated Dialogue”) or a structured conversation model as Jump Movement. Thought provoking cards such as the Little Upsides™ may help move the conversation forward as well.
Kitchen Table Dialogues matter, because if we can’t practice and find peace in our home and place of work, how can we expect to find peace beyond these places? I realize that I am asking some big questions and I would like to ask: “What do you think about what I just said?” Let me know in the comment box below!